A man once told me that when he was younger, he lived in a mobile home that caught fire.  He watched as his home and possessions including, all his notes and papers from college, go up in flames.   I tried to offer what I hoped would be an empathic response about his loss but he responded  to me saying, “It was the best thing that ever happened to him”. With everything from his past gone, it gave him a clean slate from which to begin again.  He added that there really was no reason he had kept all the things he had been unwilling to let go of, and so the fire got rid of it all for him.

We don’t have to be candidates for the show “Hoarders” to be guilty of hanging on to too much unnecessary things in our lives.  This includes, but is not limited to, clothes, household items, hobbies, habits, time wasters and people.

I’m hearing many people right now during shelter at home to clean out closets and drawers and I applaud those actions.  But because we are under new rules with this pandemic, it also gives us time to do lots of measures that we might previously looked at as extreme.  While many people employ the habit of “Spring Cleaning”, this situation is unique because we not only have more time to look at these clogging pile ups we have created, but in many cases, we also have an opportunity to experience life WITHOUT those things.  When we go back to work, do we really need all these clothes?  Granted, I don’t recommend going back to work in your pajamas, but how are living now without all the extras?  Worse still, how long do you need to keep those pants you wore when you lost 10 lbs., 15 years ago and gained it back in 6 months?  Are you stuffing your closets because you are banking on hope?

We are experiencing less frequent or non existent outings such as trips to the grocery store.  To adapt, we have to be more thoughtful.  We try and plan out what food we need and when we are out of something we wanted to have, we create an alternative.  And while there have been far too many deaths due to the virus, I don’t believe anyone has died yet because they didn’t have salsa on hand.  (this does not however, apply to chocolate- if you are out of chocolate I recommend you go out right now and get some!).

Starbucks is closed.  Who’d a thunk a time like this would ever occur?  I’m finding that I don’t need really any coffee in the morning, I’ve just kind of changed my routine. And because I’m not driving much, no coffee is getting spilled in my car like it usually does- double bonus.

How about time?  How much time have you spent doing things which, as it turns out, are “non-essential”.    Of course some tasks are not necessary because they are not available to us, but they will resume once the nation is back on its feet.  You need not drive your children to daycare now because there is no daycare to drive them to and thus you experience more time for other things.  But post pandemic (which we all hope is sooner than later) do you really need a haircut as frequently or your nails done weekly?   Now that you are in quarantine do you find a sense of relief in not having to see some people that you used to feel burdened by?  Does it take a pandemic to let yourself make some changes ?
 
As always, I want to be clear that my message is always, this is not an edict for the “right way”.  We all have the agency to set our own priorities and values even if they differ from others.  But that also needs to include a dedication to our values rather than letting culture, friends, family dictate those for us to the point that we are no longer aware of why we do them.  It includes an unwillingness to become on autopilot to the point that we aren’t mindful of our decisions and actions even to the point of self- harm.

I am not recommending anyone set fire to their homes or their lives.  But I hope this time in quarantine provides you with a chance to pause and re-evaluate what you need to hold closer, and what you need to let go of.  And most of all, I hope that each and everyone of you remains healthy as we find our way through these days.

I agree with the saying “Sometimes you don’t know what you’ve got ’til its gone”.  It’s true we may not appreciate the things we have sometimes.  But I also believe that sometimes you need to be without something to realize that you really are just fine without it.
 
 
 
 
As always, I’d love to hear your thought