(original date published 3/14/20)

Greetings!

I hope this finds you in good health!
 
I’m going to apologize for sending this to everyone on my mailing list, even though it may not apply to some of you.
I’m sure that you have already received a gazillion of these letters from other businesses and services explaining to you how they are handling the Covid-19.  I will try to make this additional one as brief as I can:

I am taking extra time to clean and disinfect surfaces including door knobs in my office.  In addition our building is cleaned daily.
No more blanket, so please dress in layers as the inside temperature varies and I have little to no control in altering it.
If you do not feel comfortable going out of your home, you have the option of using facetime or skype, or simply telephone to conduct your session until some of the warnings subside. Please notify me in advance of scheduling if you prefer this mode
I cannot guarantee that your insurance company will reimburse for sessions not done face to face.  I am offering a letter to accompany your claims stating that technology was used as a protective measure against the spread of Covid-19.
 
I hope this helps to reassure any concerns you may have for future visits.  Please take care of yourself and stay healthy!
 
Best!
Mary
 

They all die in the end.

Original publish date 3/14/20

Greetings!
I’ve seen several people and talked with many more in the past week who are concerned in different proportions about the current pandemic. While we may all have different concerns at the top of our lists, the common link is that the Corona virus is affecting every single one of us in one way or another.  Some people are out of work, some are working ridiculously long hours to compensate.  Some are waiting for medical procedures, while others are simply waiting for this to pass so they can go back to their “normal”.  Parents and children are finding themselves spending more time together, while others are feeling isolated because they can’t go out and socialize.  Few could have imagined any of this, including a toilet paper shortage!

Over the past 20 years or so, we’ve been warned to prepare for many possible disasters, from Y2K, to Bird Flu.  Thus, many of us took this latest warning expecting it to pass over like a blip on the screen.  Maybe there will be a little inconvenience here and there, but all will be well.  And that may certainly be the outcome of this one, except that the inconvenience will likely last longer and be more significant as businesses close to weather the storm.

On Sept 12, 2001 I heard two radio personalities talking with each other about the attack on our soil the previous day.  The first said “Wow, we woke up today to a very different world.”  The other responded, “No.  We woke up the same world, but we no longer have the luxury of pretending that things like this can’t or won’t happen to us.”

Remembering that dialogue has given me a perspective on what is happening today.  Nothing has changed from the standpoint of our mortality. Last month, six months ago, 5 years ago, we were all guaranteed life up until the moment.  None of us were/are immune from our lives ending in a single instance.  We could have a heart attack, contract pneumonia, get hit by a bus, even have a plane fly into our dwelling.  I’m sure most of you know someone who has passed away due to unforeseen circumstances.  We are all in this together and no one is getting out alive, its just that none of us knows in advance what or when that time will come for us.
It is universally true that we begin the process of dying the moment we take our first breath.  In that sense, today’s news about the risks/prevalence of coronavirus doesn’t change this truth.  Yesterday or today each of us has different levels of vulnerability to this thing called our existence.  Sadly, any of us, or someone we love could in fact, contract this virus.  But we or someone we love will experience a life ending condition at some point.
I write my blog with the intention it will help someone feel better.  Despite the dreary tone thus far, I hope this post will do the same.
Imagine for a moment that I had the ability to tell you exactly when your death will occur, say March 21, 2031 at 3:00 in an auto accident.  My suspicion is that anyone with that information about themselves would become hyper-focused on that fact.  It would likely inform every choice from that moment forward and perhaps prevent you from living your life as you would have before knowing that information.  I doubt this would be a positive thing for some of us.  “Live as if each day is your last”, is predicated on the concept of “IF” But knowing an exact date and time fear, unsettledness because it is no longer an if, but a when.   It promotes that natural tendency within us to move into survival rather than living mode.

In survival we use less of our frontal cortex.  We anticipate, starvation and deprivation.  We stock up on bread and toilet paper.  We live in a constant state of heightened awareness and readiness to act because we are relying mostly on the primitive parts of our brains.

By relying on the more primitive or instinctual parts of our brains, we trick ourselves into thinking that we can do SOMETHING to increase our odds.  We can have more money or have more toilet paper.  We can believe we took the right vitamins or washed our hands enough than other people.  We won’t take a trip or go to large gatherings and thus we will beat this thing!   Many of these actions may in fact, tip the scale in our favor.  But there are people who will do everything “right” and get the virus and people who do everything “wrong” will not.
I’m not suggesting we don’t prepare, but rather we do so with the same sense of urgency that we would if the hype of the COVID-19 was not so present in our waking moments.   Yes, we are all affected by some of the externally mandated changes in our way of life.  However, we need not let those changes suggest to us that our likelihood of living is always greater than our likelihood of dying, just as it always has been.  If you accept that you were born, and that you will die, it allows you to LIVE to the best of your ability in the time in between.  Living in NOW is the only guarantee any of has, just as it was prior to the appearance of the corona virus.  Worry and anxiety suppress our immune system.  Perhaps instead of worrying and putting your life on hold, try focusing on the joy of right now and the people who accompany you on your journey.  Besides, stress suppresses your immune system.

 
  
 
 As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts.- however I still don’t have my website working properly.   or now, please email your comments back to me and I will post them on the website and without your name unless you specify otherwise.



Mary

In recent blogs I’ve introduced you to people achieving some amazing results through perserverance. My hope is that their stories are inspiring. I realize however, that sometimes people will see a story, such as these, and conclude, “but I can’t do anything that monumental” and actually become less inspired, rather than more.

That’s incredibly unfortunate, because there is often something amazing in showing up to a “regular” life every day. It takes work. It takes commitment.  And an uninspired conclusion comes from what I call “snapshot” thinking. It means to look at what you see in one image and think that, what you are looking at, is the whole story.

When we look at a snapshot of a model its easy to conclude that the woman (or man) is beautiful and we can’t possibly compete. But what we fail to consider is that the person photographed doesn’t actually look like the photograph either. The photo has probably been airbrushed to remove imperfection. It has also been staged, and in our normal everyday lives, most of us don’t have stage hands.

The people I introduced you to don’t have airbrushed lives.   It was their effort, and mostly their attitudes that made them incredible. But what I presented to you was the snapshot version. It is the end result. I didn’t describe to you in detail how many times they curled up in a ball and cried, got overwhelmed with fear or just plain failed. Maybe those moments lasted minutes or days at a time. But they kept at it. They got knocked down along the way, but they kept getting up (eventually).

Sometimes its harder than others to get up. It’s harder to keep going when the finish line appears so far in the distance. I’d like to introduce you to a video that I find very inspiring as a source of motivation.  Unfortunately at  just over six minutes,  it’s too large to load directly on my site so I’ve included only the link.  I think you’ll find it worth your time. Here is an excerpt:

Pain is temporary. It may last for a minute, an hour, a day, or even a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit however, it will last forever.

You can find the video here: